Kinda TTC

So here we sit at 5 DPO …… temps actually look like the same as they did at the beginning of my pregnancy in July 2008. But they could always look like this – I haven’t had a proper temping cycle in a couple of years really. However, if I am pregnant I am highly positive that the eggie is clever enough to NOT implant in my ovary this time……
I want to test. I KNOW there will be no chance in the world of getting any form of accurate result. But seriously, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to test. Stupid, I know. I’m trying to hold out to Friday – which will be 9 DPO and the earliest I’ve gotten a BFP before. Again, we will not take into consideration that it was in my ovary!!
I’ve violated my cervix and have vowed that from now I’m only allowed to check it twice a day – once in the morning and once at night. Not every single time I go to the bathroom, or walk past a bathroom, or think of a bathroom!!! I’m sure after a certain number of times it goes beyond just checking but I can’t help it!!! It’s like my ridiculous need to POAS at 5 DPO.
I’m a little nauseous – prob cause DP’s phone was off, last time that happened he was in an accident
I’m a little tired – probably from the crappy sleep I had
I’ve got a little break out – probably from the half a block of chocolate I ate over the weekend.
I’m having a lot of twinges in my right ovary – which I’m not really comfortable with as its supposed to be the GOOD ovary.
The only real ‘symptom’ I have that I don’t have a rational explanation for is my CM. it ‘feels’ like its very wet down there, but if I check its not. My CM is maybe a mix between creamy and watery, but it just has the sensation of being wet. That’s something I never get.

I’m not 100% hopeful for this month – no, I lie – I AM hopeful, I’m just not 100% confident. I had EWCM on day 12 and 13 and DTD both of these days in the PM. But I didn’t O until CD16 – which gives me a -4 and -3 BD prior to O – not GREAT. But hey I had the EWCM and used Preseed. So maybe we have a shot.
I have searched the absolute bejeebus out of the FF chart gallery to find pregnancy charts with -4 or -3 BD’s before O. there are actually heaps and heaps of them!!! And every day I just want the day to hurry up because the sooner I go to bed the sooner I can wake up and take my temp.Please, please, please world let this be our turn for a BFP that results in a happy healthy baby. These BFP’s that don’t have babies at the end are a real buzz kill!!!!

Best of luck everyone.

HERE is my Fertility Friend Chart if anyone wants to see it!!