What happened to 'D' day?

I've given up on D day. Its not happening anytime soon. I am pretty sure I'll be having the second Methotrexate injection. If this happens, I'm out of the TTC game for six months. I don't know how to handle that. I am praying I DON'T have to handle that.
So today I was thinking about everything that has happenend over the past few months. And more so what has happened the last week. I haven't been as highly strung emotionally as the last miscarriage. This was partly due to it never being a viable pregnancy. Another was that I felt like I was taking one for the 'team'. If I miscarried, then there was a lesser chance that a couple of very special ladies who had their BFP's at the same time of mine would have to endure the same loss. I looked at it as a numbers game. 'Well there was another miscarriage, so it increased their odds of having a healthy pregnancy". I was gutted to learn that one of these ladies is experiencing spotting. I hope that everything is ok for her. She needs to represent in May.
However, I had myself a mini breakdown today, because of one person, a person who wears so many different hats in the soap opera / ER saga of my life, a person who I have never met.
* the first person I told of my impending miscarriage - this time round
* the first person who rang me and comforted me
* the person who had a D&C at the same time as me and could relate to how I felt
* the person who got their BFP the same time as me this time and freaked out with me
* the person I was most happy in being stuck in a due in thread with.........
She might be miscarrying too.
And this is where the 'everything will sort itself out' turns into 'this is just 5hit'. I'm not sure what powers control the Due in May thread, but did they NOT GET THE MEMO. I miscarried. I TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM. Why can't everyone else just be ok? It is not ok for multiple people to have to go through this cr@p over and over again. Especially someone who is so kind and caring.
So I am stuck back in the life is cr@p phase of this roller coaster. I can handle this. I can get through this. But why do other people have to go through it aswell? Surely making one person at a time suffer is sufficient?
I know its unrealistic, but there are a few of us that need a break. Just for awhile. A nice, healthy 40 week pregnancy with an amazingly healthy child at the end would be just tops thanks.
Ahhhhh we can live in hope.
And too the person I mentioned above....... I'm thinking of you, and wish you didn't have to go through this again.
xoxoxox