4 weeks Post D&C

Today is four weeks since my D&C. I would be 15 weeks pregnant if I hadn't of miscarried.
I've had a bad day coping. I tried to distract myself with work as much as possible, but to no real avail, I worked hard, but still thought!
I've been tossing and turning in bed for an hour and a half, and eventually I had too give up. I've just hopped up and taken 2 panadeine forte, hopefully they will help with my toothache and also knock me out for a few hours.
I can't seem to switch off my brain today. It just keeps dwelling and dwelling and dwelling on what should have been. And it then flickers to think about what if having children is not a possibility for me?
Most days I manage fine. But today has been harder than any other day. I guess I cant beat myself up about it. Perhaps you need to hit emotional rock bottom before you can begin to climb back up. I've been coping and moving forward really well, I suppose one really bad day in four weeks is pretty good.
Its actually hard to explain. I'm ok, I can function quite normally. I worked my butt off today and was extremely productive. I came home and cleaned, cooked dinner, watched half a movie and tried to go to bed. But I just can't switch my brain off. Today my brain only thinks about my pregnancy, my miscarriage, my D&C, and my future in respect to children.
I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling much brighter. I can't imagine too many of these types of days are good for the soul.
But, if I do wake up like this tomorrow, its all good, I'm going out tomorrow night, so I'll get right royal drunk for the first time in heaven knows how long. Hmmm I imagine 3 glasses of anything will be enough hahahahaha. Ah, at least I still have a slight sense of humour even at my most wallowing and self pitying low :P